revise an essay 5

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The essay talks about gender issues, I’ll upload it after bidding.

Here are the requirements:

1. The thesis is missing; you still need a clear answer to the question in the prompt.

2. Also, write a title that can encapsulate the main idea in the paper.

3. Your paper needs to be developed further. The causes, effects and suggestions seem to be summary of research only. You need to provide also your explanation and analysis.

4.In the part where you discuss causes you mention both sex education and general education…there is a confusion about what each of these mean and how they relate to each other as a factor in teen pregnancy. Expand and explain.

5. In the solutions you mention counseling. Explain more about how it would help. How is it related to teen pregnancy? What kind of counseling? Why should it be both mandatory and optional? Also, in this paragraph you mention that engaging in sex and the resulting pregnancy might be a result of psychological issues: for this solution to work and to be clear to the reader why it is important to implement it, you need to first discuss that aspect of teenage pregnancy in the part of the paper where you discuss the causes.

6. As I mentioned in my comments to the first paper, sections with titles are not used in short papers like ours. Take out the subtitles and revise.

 

 
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